TELEVISION; Sold on CNBC's look at eBay

One lucky buyer snapped up an autographed picture of Jesus, while another had the winning bid on a grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary toasted into it. Guns, breast milk and Nazi paraphernalia, on the other hand, are strictly off limits.

So it goes at the online marketplace that CNBC reporter David Faber profiles in "The eBay Effect: Inside a Worldwide Obsession," a fascinating 60 minutes on one of the remarkable institutions of our day.

Faber won the prestigious Peabody Award for his previous CNBC documentary, last year's excellent "The Age of Wal-Mart." Here he brings the same investigative skills, playful wit and even-handed presentation to a different kind of retail beast.

As eBay approaches its 10th anniversary, the good news is very good, founder Pierre Omidyar and CEO Meg Whitman tell Faber.

Worldwide, some $40 billion worth of goods, from radish seeds to real estate, is expected to be traded on eBay this year. eBay has sites in 27 countries, with 11 million people trading annually and an additional 20,000 joining up every day in China alone.

Faber chats with a half-dozen buyers and sellers who can't praise the company enough, including a collector who has happily shelled out $5 million for all manner of tchotchkes, a rural couple whose online sales business has allowed them to keep their farm, and a disabled seller who exults: "eBay has given me power!"

The phenomenon has powered other businesses, too, from manufacturers of packing peanuts to the publishers of approximately 130 eBay how-to books. For novice sellers, there are adult-ed classes, shipping services and even eBay-savvy appraisers of luxury goods who can tell you how much your Rolex should fetch and how to show it to advantage.

Then there's the other side: the rising fees that have longtime sellers grumbling, the charges that eBay isn't aggressive enough in rooting out fraud, the "live help" hotline that one disgusted user calls "worse than the IRS."

Faber follows three young Colorado filmmakers to Las Vegas, where after getting no help from eBay when they complained they'd never received the camera for which they'd paid $1,500 they take the seller to court.

While ruling in their favor, the judge says: "If you're utilizing something like eBay, you may be doing that at your peril."

An online security specialist agrees, telling Faber that the site's monitors often ignore the warning signs of dishonest retailers and, once the bad guys are exposed, don't move quickly enough to expel them. More surprisingly, an eBay executive concedes the company could and should be doing more.

Yet, for every disillusioned eBay-er, a gaggle of newcomers with dreams of big bucks or great finds sign on. Even Faber does an experimental deal on the site, realizing a tidy profit on some sports memorabilia he puts up for auction.

The message seems to be: Let the buyer beware and the seller take care but, hey, do you think they'd bid $5 for that funky watch?

Short takes

-- TV Land's latest programming gimmick is as simple as it is stellar: six consecutive nights devoted to nine landmark TV movies of the '70s and '80s a "Movies of the Week Week" (7 . Monday through Saturday, TV Land).

Among the best of the best: the original "Brian's Song" (7 . Monday), the famous male-bonding weepie with James Caan and Billy Dee Williams; "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" (7 . Tuesday), starring a young John Travolta as a teen with a deficient immune system; "The Execution of Private Slovik" (9:30 . Tuesday), with Martin Sheen as the only American executed for desertion during World War II; "An Early Frost" (7 . Wednesday), starring Aidan Quinn as one of TV's first AIDS patients; "The Day After" (7 . Thursday), a two-parter on the aftermath of a fictional but scarily realistic nuclear attack; and "Sybil" (7 . Friday), featuring Sally Field's tremendous performance as a woman tormented by 16 personalities.

TV Land will repeat all nine movies in a marathon starting at 7 . next Sunday.

-- You know the "Average Joe" drill: A bunch of regular guys with golden hearts beating beneath their unimpressive pecs compete for the hand of a genuine hottie, who learns to value one of them for his inner goodness or maybe not so much.

"Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back" (7 . Tuesday, NBC), the fourth edition, starts out as usual, with the Joes getting to know each other before meeting their dream girl, but then detours into a makeover tooth-whitening, jaw-tightening and all that for one lucky guy per week, who then gets a second chance at the princess. And people say reality TV is superficial!

-- Handsomely produced and uniformly well-acted, "Empire" (8 . Tuesday, ABC) is a lavish but not very lively Roman epic spun around Octavius (Santiago Cabrera), the nephew and heir to Julius Caesar, and Tyrannus (Jonathan Cake), the fictional warrior sworn to protect him. At six hours spread over five consecutive Tuesdays, it's beautiful to look at and occasionally even stirring, but it's likely to feel like a long slog for all but true ancient history buffs.

After this week's two-hour opener, "Empire" will be shown in one- hour installments through July 26.

-- Nostalgic for the wit, wisdom and sheer class of the late "Anna Nicole Show"? Dig into "Being Bobby Brown" (9 & 9:30 . Thursday, repeated 11 & 11:30 ., Bravo), an astoundingly awful new reality series starring the onetime R&B star now better known for his court appearances and his roller-coaster marriage to Whitney Houston.

The first two episodes, which will be shown back-to-back this week, feature Brown and the Mrs. cuddling, squabbling, parading their embarrassed-looking preteen daughter before the camera, giggling at jokes only they understand and, in an especially nauseating moment, sharing the scatological details of a bathroom mishap better left unshared. If there's been a more repulsive show on TV this year, I'm lucky enough to have missed it.

Bravo will repeat both episodes frequently through July 3.

WHEN TO WATCH

What: "The eBay Effect: Inside a Worldwide Obsession"

When: (7 . Wednesday, repeated 10 . Wednesday and 7 & 10 . Friday

Where: CNBC